How can I help my 8 year old daughter?

I was shocked to discover that my 8 year old daughter has what appear to be large cavities in several back teeth. I feel terrible, firstly that she HAS them, and secondly that I didn't notice them until she started crying and saying they hurt. I don't know where they came from, I don't allow her to eat sweets or drink soda, she snacks on fruit and drinks diluting juice or milk.





Anyway, I've made an appointment for her to see a local dentist next week, and I explained that she would need to get fillings, but she's absolutely terrified about it and I can't seem to calm her down at all. I've tried showing her my fillings and explaining that they didn't hurt and stopped the teeth from hurting, and I've tried playing "games" to practice for going to the dentist, but she remains terrified and is constantly crying about going.





How can I make this less scary for her? I feel awful.

How can I help my 8 year old daughter?
You said she snacks on fruit, does this include dried fruit? Because dried fruit has a very high sugar content and is very sticky as well, so it can stick in the teeth and result in decay. Just a thought.





I'd say just make sure she knows that you're not angry with her for having the cavities, make sure she knows that it's a normal thing to have happen, and let her know that you'll stay with her the whole time during the appointment. I'm not a huge fan of bribing kids with toys and stuff, but maybe suggest that after the appointment you could go to the park, or go and visit her grandparents or something that she will enjoy. Don't make it a condition of "if you're good then....." Just let her know that you know she's scared, and it's not a nice thing to go through, but afterwards you'll do something nice as a special treat for being so brave.





And you might want to ask your dentist about getting sealants put on her other back teeth to prevent cavities forming there too. Good luck!
Reply:call the dentist, and see if maybe over a lunch hour or something before her appointment, she can have a "tour" of the dentist office.





they will show her all of the equipment, the chair, meet the nurses, etc





that should help calm her, once the unknown is explored
Reply:You can't.
Reply:I feel bad for her too.





Don't really know of any good ideas, except that one mentioned earlier bout visiting the office before hand, that sounds pretty good.





But I wanted to relate an experience I had, it involved another patient and his mother. I was sitting in my chair while in the next space a child (boy ~ 6) was having work done. He was terrified too. His mother tried everything, including threatening to leave him there all alone. Poor child, he was out of his wits. It made me cry for him.





Finally I got up and went to visit him (I had a good relationship with my dentist and this wasn't a problem). I asked him what was the matter, he said he was scared. I said; "I know. Me too." He stopped for a moment wondering how could a grown man be scared. Everyone was telling him it wouldn't hurt too much, so he asked me if it was going to hurt. I said; "Yes, it will hurt some. But we are men. We can handle it." After that he became more brave and ready to endure the experience.





Afterwards his mother met me in the waiting room and thanked me for what I did. I told her that I hated (yes, HATED) what she did and couldn't stand to hear her threaten her child. They are so young, and look to us for support.





I can't stress enough how that afternoon affected me and upset me. My message to you is just to reassure her that you will be with her no matter what. Don't lie to her and don't try to minimize the experience. Present it matter of factly and she will trust you. Even if it doesn't seem to do any good, it will do wonders.
Reply:take her to visit the office like you are trying to. maybe ask around and see if anyone elses children could tell her how fun it was when they were at the dentist. kids will listen to peers better than adults!
Reply:Treat her the best possible way that she is not hurt with something which you tell or scold her when she cries at you saying it is painful. Be soft and try to take her to the doctor as early as possible.
Reply:Let her pull your teeth for not doing your job %26amp; causing her the pain.
Reply:Another option is: If she doesn't respond well to the dentist you are planning to take her to, there are pedodontists (chidren's dentists). They cater to kids and try to develop a great relationship with them. The local offices in our town have great game rooms, kids toys, TV's with cartoons on all the time, etc. It's possible she would respond better in that situation. Also, in some situations, children need to be sedated a bit if they don't respond well. The pedodontist would be the one to take her to for that as well.


Best of luck, and hope she feels better very soon!!
Reply:i think u should tell her that she can get whatever she wants after that.or mabye just let them fall out on their own.i am 9 an thats what i did.now,my teeth are fine.hope she feels better.
Reply:I am going through that same situtation right now. We brush and I don't allow sodas but wow..there they were. I found a great dentist that caters to children. That is most important. I was waiting to get a lecture myself but she said sometimes it is genetic. She first did a conseltation and met with my daughter. My daughter was terrified but after meeting the dentist my daughter loved her and was happy to go back. We went to have the x-rays done and a cleaning. They explained everything to her before they did it. They said that if she had any questions that she can raise her hand and they will stop and answer her question. She is about to go in for her filling and the doctor told her that she would need a shot to numb her mouth but that would be the worst part and that only lasts for a second. My daughter is still nervous about that but she is looking forward for a prize (the dentist keeps a toy chest for after appointments) that she will get at the end.


In the end, go with a dentist that works with kids, have great communcation with them and make sure your daughter and you are happy with your choice.
Reply:I agree that if you can find anyone else with kids her age, get her together with them and talk about going to the dentist, because she might believe them more. Depending on your daughter (I have two, one was more dramatic than the other) you might just have to refuse to indulge her emotions on the subject any more. One of my girls was scared of lots of things, and as long as I tried to make her feel better, she hung onto her fear... but once I would say (for example), "Well, we're going to the dentist because that's what we have to do, I'm your mom and I know what's best for you," and kind of made her feel like it wasn't open for discussion, she would force herself to just deal with it, and eventually learned to get over her fears. It was hard -- I felt horrible -- but in the end, it was the right thing to do, and I'm really glad I did it, because it's a skill she's needed to use a million times. Once again, the right thing to do is often the hardest thing to do. Good luck!
Reply:poor her.my lil sis had it on front tooth.shes absolutely terrified of the dosctors but she had to overcome it. promise her something special if shell agree to go there. shell be ok. my lil bro is 4 now nd we brushed his teeth since he was 2 yrs old. i think starting brushing ur teeth at 5 is a bit late. but dont worry u've tried yr best. just be there 4 her, hold her hand and then treat u and ur daughter to something special.
Reply:Are they baby teeth? or big teeth?


If they're baby teeth then filling them would be a bit silly because they'll come out soon, so the dentist might take them out.


If they're big teeth then the dentist should do it straight away.


If it's a nice dentist though, he should explain to your daughter what he'll do and maybe run through his equipment etc. to make her feel calmer. Do dentisits still have stickers for children nowadays? I always liked getting stickers for being good at the dentist.

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